I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
