those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
