so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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