so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
