I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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