Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
