Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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