I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
