If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
