K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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