I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
