google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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