Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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