the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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