To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
