Will you blow on my dice?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
