It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
