dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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