we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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