he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize
