and next time when you feel me up, do it right
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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