i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
