Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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