So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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