we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
