i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
