YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
