At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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