i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
