Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
