so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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