Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
