Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
