some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
