K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
