you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
In America we eat man semen.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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