Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
