i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
