38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
