Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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