Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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