Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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