Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
