Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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