I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
