And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So many bounce houses so little time
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
