Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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