so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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