they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
