sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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