Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
