Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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