My room smells like vodka and shame
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
