New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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