no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I stole a fireplace last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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