are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
