I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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