Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
