just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
