whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
